Someone 'Round Here Got A Lump Of "Cole" for Christmas!!!!

Yet another item has now been marked off my list of things I WOULD NEVER do. 
We now have an inside dog.  He's just too cute or I'd be tempted to throw him out.  He arrived on our doorstep on Saturday with a note attached that Santa :) had sent him early so he didn't have to travel on the sleigh.  Apparently an elf dropped him by.  And should you ever doubt that Christmas is magic......just as the doorbell rang and we found the box with the puppy inside, SNOW BEGAN TO FALL.  Cue the Christmas magic!!!!!

Cole Barbee

10 Week Old Minature Schnauzer

Then I Saw Her Face......

Four years ago today I saw this precious face on my computer screen.   It was the beginning of an amazing adventure and the end of life as we knew it.   

 

Thanking God today for this sweet child and what he has taught us through her little life. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

from our bunch to yours!

Sweet Friends

On Monday Mia will have surgery on her palate.  As a result, she won't be able to eat any Halloween candy next weekend.  When our sweet friend and neighbor, Mary,  heard about this, she organized an early trick or treat for Mia in our neighborhood.  We are so blessed to have so many sweet neighbors and friends who joined in on the fun.  You all helped to make Mia's first Halloween so much fun.  More importantly, you showed her once again how much you all love her and how special she is.  Thank you dear friends.

 Thank you Mary and family!

Our two Chinese princesses!  Of course, Lainie is a little too young to understand why Mia was trick or treating early, so she joined in on the fun too.

Chenzhou Trio

On Saturday we had the priviledge of getting together with Lily, Sarah Mei and their families.  These girls along with Lainie spent the first year and a half of their lives living together in an orphanage in Chenzhou China.  They have known each other longer than any of us have known them.  God in his goodness placed them all in families here in the Carolinas.  Their families are a blessing to us and we are so thankful that these girls share this connection.  Only he could orchestrate such a thing!

Lainie, Sarah Mei and Lilly 2010  - Home in the Carolinas

 

Lainie, Sarah Mei and Lilly 2006 - Chenzhou, China

First Day of School 2010

Even though we woke up at the crack of dawn (Mia couldn't figure out why we were up and it was still dark outside) I did manage to get some quick shots of our kiddos just before we ran out the door....

This is the last year that Lainie won't be going to school with us.  Although she LOVES her sitters, she can't wait to be a kindergartner next year. (And no I did not realize her shirt was on backwards until I picked her up that afternoon).  And I'm thinking next year I'll probably have to fix her hair before we head out the door. 

Mia - our first grader- has been waiting not so patiently for school to start all summer.  She LOVES school and is so excited that vacation is over.

Will - our 3rd grader - ready to go as always.  This boy has a good time anywhere he goes and school is no exception.

Jillian - our 6th grader - all grown up.

Trey - our 9th grader - where did the time go?  It seems like yesterday he went to kindergarten.  His first day of high school was just like his very first day of school.  Not a bit nervous  - just excited to start something new.   He's going to have so much fun. 

Because our school is K-8 Trey has been with me at school every single day.  It just didn't seem right to walk into school this morning and him not be with us.  In my classroom he had written on  my board on the last day of school last year.  "Hey mom - Trey was here."  I think I'll leave that there for awhile - or maybe forever.

I Survived

Looking back over our summer, I feel as if I need one of those cheesy "I Survived" t-shirts.  Mine would say, " I survived the summer with 5 (kids)."  Why would I need such a shirt?  Well, here are just a few of the things we've done this summer....

7 doctor's appointments
6 shots
1 trip to urgent care
2 beach vacations
2 dermatologist appointments
1 week of driver's ed
1 urologist appointment
1 softball world series
1 set of ears piereced
1 set of training wheels removed
6 birthday parties ( to attend)
3 Bible Schools
4 house showings (still for sale)
1 week of Quarterback camp
Daily football workouts
baseball practice
softball practice
basketball practice
1 oil change for the van
1 week overnight church camp
Numerous sleepovers (hosted and attended)
4 meetings at school
1 spider bite
2 orthodontist appointments (no more braces!)
6 haircuts
1 pair of glasses repaired
1 graduation from floaties to swimming
1 bathroom painted
7 closets cleaned out

and that is just the beginning.

But, more important than this list is the long list of times we've smiled, laughed and giggled together.  So while we can't deny the impending end of summer,  we have certainly made many happy memories to tuck away in our hearts.  Now comes the days with more routines and more schedules.  Goodbye summer.  I survived with 5!

They spent lots of time doing makeup and playing dress up.

My kitchen floor often served as a nail salon and tattoo parlor.

Our beach vacations always seem to go by much too quickly.  

Lainie is already asking how many days until we go next summer.

Sweet Trey has been so much fun this summer.  

He's the World's Best Big Brother for sure! 

 I can hardly believe he will be starting high school in just a few days.

This final shot - fresh out of the camera today as we played in the sprinkler - is how I will remember the summer.  All together.  All smiles.  All fun.

One Less Orphan in Ethiopia

We are thrilled that our friends, Ryan and Courtney are adopting from Ethiopia.  We have been so inspired by their compassion for the orphan.  Check out their website:

http://www.thomasadoption.myevent.com/

Family Vacation - One Year Later

Last week I sat in the very same beach house where we first saw Mia's picture one year earlier.  On July 8, 2009, I opened an e-mail from our agency's special needs coordinator.   It contained the files of three girls from the China Shared Special Needs list.  Less than a week earlier we had submitted our paperwork to begin another adoption. .  We had struggled with what to do with our burden for orphans since we returned home with Lainie in 2007.  We weren't sure if God was calling us to adopt again or if there was some other orphan ministry he wanted us to be a part of.   Last July we had seen him work in our lives in ways that led us to another adoption.  This time we knew we would do the special needs route and we had requested to be considered for any girl aged 2-5.  So last July when I opened the three files in my e-mail, I quickly read through the info for the first two girls - they both fell within the age range, but I didn't feel drawn to either of them.  When I looked at the third file I didn't expect to find my daughter.  This little girl was already 6 1/2 years old.  But then, I saw her face......

and I knew she was ours.  Every single fear I ever had about older child adoption was absent from my mind in that moment.  Every single fear I had about adopting out of birth order was suppressed.  I can't explain it.  Two days earlier had you asked me about adopting an almost 7 year old I would have said - that isn't for us, that wouldn't be the right fit for our family.  Everything that made sense to me was turned upside down. I know it was God who kept those thoughts from my mind that day.  It was God who opened our hearts and our minds to this little girl.

Now, one year later when I watch her playing on the beach I am so thankful that we trusted Him despite our fears and our own plans for our family.  Mia has been home six months.  It has been quite the journey.  Layers of this precious girl's heart still peel away as time passes.   We still learn new things about her life in China every day as she begins to trust us enough to share her experiences there.  Just recently we learned a whole other side of the story of the grandmother's phone number saga that we didn't understand until now.

Daily I am amazed by this little girl who after all the trauma she has been through still choses to love life and others.  God is using her to write an amazing story of His grace.  My prayer is that one day she will be able to share all that God has done in her life in a way that gives Him glory, honor and praise.

And the rest of our family - one year later.....
I'm so proud of all my kids.  They've accepted another child as a sister.  They haven't missed a beat.  From the first moment they met her, they have loved her and treated her like she has been here forever.  That is a miracle too.  Adoption, every single aspect of it, is a miraculous event.  One that can only be orchestrated through Him.  I look at the picture below and can hardly believe this is my family.  So different from what I ever planned.  There are certainly more people in the picture that I ever thought there would be.... and a few of them look quite different that what I would ever have dreamed....  but is this picture more beautiful than anything I had ever dreamed myself?  YES.

Her Heart is Home

Mia has been physically home for almost 6 months.  Now I can finally say that her heart is home too.  Slowly, day by day, her heart has begun to heal and she has let herself love us.  The child we saw in China is not at all the same Mia that we know now.  Now that we have seen her true personality, it is hard to imagine that her behavior was what we witnessed those first few weeks.  It makes me even more aware of the trauma that she endured from leaving all that she knew and loved.  I don't share much about what we experienced with her in China.  The pain we saw her endure was almost too much to bear.  I recently spoke with another adoptive mom and I told her I wish I had journaled more about those first weeks, but at the time I just couldn't bring myself to write it all down.  She reminded me it is because it is just to painful to relive as your write it.  You can't dwell on it that long.  It is just so heavy it will crush you if you try to take it all in. She was so right. I've often thought about Mary, the mother of Jesus and how scripture says ...."Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart." I suppose that is what I will do with those painful memories.  I will ponder them in my heart and look back and know that in those days that seemed so hard, God never left our side.  Even then he was beginning to heal Mia's heart and soul.  She is a beautiful, precious little soul with a sweet, sweet spirit that is in some ways mature beyond her years.  I am so proud of her and truly thankful that I have been allowed to witness this miracle in her little life.

Just last week we had this conversation at bed time:

Mia:  Good night Mommy.  I love you.

Me:  I love you too Mia.

Mia:  Mommy, I'm sorry I didn't love you when you came to China.

Me:  It is okay Mia.  I understand.

Mia:  It was because I didn't remember (know) you Mommy. I was so scared.

Me:  It is okay Mia.  I know you were scared.  I loved you even when you didn't remember me.  I love you now and I will love you always.

Mia:  I will love you too always Mommy.

She just started calling me Mommy two weeks ago.  She did that on her own.  I was fine with Mama, but the first time she said Mommy it melted my heart.  You might have to be me to understand the difference.  It is not so much the term, but the endearing way she says it that lets me know this precious girl has let her heart come home.

Congratulations Stefanie!

For quite some time have been following the blog of Stefanie at
Ni Hao Ya'll.  I've never met her, but she has been quite an inspiration to me and many others.  She recently posted her 1,000 post on her blog.  She not only has adopted 5 beautiful children from China in addition to her 4 biological children, she also has done some incredible things in the adoption community.  Check out An Orphan's Wish (new button to the right) and No Hands But Ours (button also to the right).  Now, if I can just figure out how she does it all........

Happy Father's Day

Don't know what I did to deserve this guy, but he is the happiest man on the planet.  Don't know how he does it - things get crazy around here, but he never loses his cool.  Never.  Can't imagine doing this crazy life of mine with anyone else.....  We love you!

Awards Day

Wednesday was Awards Day at our school.  

Yep, I'm just a wee bit proud!

Sunday Snapshot

I'm not an official participant in the blog world Sunday Snapshot, but wanted to share this one....

Last fall we had a great picture made on this tree of all the Barbee grandchildren.  This super cool tree is in my sister-in-law's yard.  That was pre-Mia and baby Ty - so yesterday we did a new photo with them included.  Not too shabby for us nonprofessional photographers.

They are a great bunch of kids from the oldest to the youngest and I'm so glad my kids get to grow up making memories with all of them.  The oldest ones are especially good sports at participating in these crazy photo shoots that we dream up.

Not the best photo of Mia - she was terrified of falling of the tree.

And for those of you wondering, there was an adult within inches of baby Ty.  In fact, I had to crop out his hand....

Chapel Hill Visit

Yesterday was Mia's first consultation with the craniofacial team in Chapel Hill regarding her cleft lip and palate.  It was a long day, but she did great.  It was nice to have a team approach and hear from each different specialty area.  They will all meet and then determine the plan for the future.  Her repair in China was done very well, so we were thankful to know we are off to a good start.  Mia was a real trooper. I was so proud of her for sticking it out through the long, long day.

They Know....

Our dear friends, The Bryants, will be leaving on June 4th to adopt their precious son, Hudson, from China.  He is their 7th child and their 3rd adoption.  You see, the Bryants know and they are acting on what they know.....

"Once our eyes are opened we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know and holds us responsible to act."  Proverbs 24:12

Hudson Bryant

Follow their trip   ......   http://www.lillymakesfive.blogspot.com/

I'm Drowning.....

Lest anyone dare think I have it all together, today is one of those days.  I tried to sit here for a few minutes and think of a cute, sweet post with some darling pictures, but the truth is I'm not feeling it today.  I look around and slowly begin to feel like I can't breathe.  So much to do - and just not enough hands or energy to do it all...... 

Three Years Home

Three years ago today....

Lainie May 2007

I met the child that changed my life forever.


When we finally decided to pursue adoption after many months of trying to avoid, deny, and refuse it, we thought it would just be a little detour from our original plan for our family.  We thought, "Okay Lord, we will do this thing  and then we will get on with life as usual."  WE COULD NOT HAVE BEEN MORE WRONG.  We had no idea that we would never be able to live as we had previously.  We had been changed in the deepest depths of our soul.  Our eyes had been opened and our hearts had been broken by the plight of the orphan.   We could not go on with life as usual.  We had been changed.  We could not forget all that we had seen, heard and learned.  We could not stop wondering what else we could do.  How else can we help these precious children who just need families?   So, as we looked into this precious face of our child on May 14, 2007, we knew that there would be no going back.  We weren't just on a little detour.  We are now going down a totally different road than we ever expected to be traveling.   You see, now we know.

It is like the Bible tells us in Proverbs 24:12......

"Once our eyes are opened we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows what we know and holds us responsible to act."

What I knew after May 14, 2007 was that orphans need families.  That is God's plan for the orphan. His word says he holds us responsible.

There are many wonderful organizations that we can give our money to that will help provide them with food, clothing and an education and those are all good things, but what they need most is the love of a family.

Now you know.  What will you do?

Just think.  If you find room in your heart for an orphan, you may just have room in your family for a blessing that looks something like this:

Lainie May 2010

Thank you Lord for opening our eyes and our hearts to the plight of your children.  Thank you for blessing us with this little girl who has brought us joy that is unspeakable.  Open the eyes of your people Lord.  Draw them to these children who so desperately need the family that only they can provide.

Three Months Home

We just passed the three month home mark with Mia.  Where do I begin to convey what our lives have been like these past 90 days?  How do I even begin to describe what I've witnessed?  Will it ever be possible to accurately re-tell the story of her first days home?   I don't think so.   It is the story of a child ripped from all she knew and loved.  A story, that had we witnessed it under any other circumstances, would seem cruel.  A little girl who obviously loved and was well-loved in return in a  foster grandmother's home, but because of circumstances beyond her control, could not stay there. How would I ever begin to tell you what is was like to be a main character in this drama?  There is simply no way to do it.  What I can tell you is that we have witnessed a miracle.  Given the plot of this story we would never expect the outcome to be so blessed.   Those first days in China I honestly thought I could not bear the pain that watching this child grieve so intensely brought.  I thought I would die.   I cried like I have never cried before and I begged God to comfort us all.  It was not easy and I will never pretend otherwise.   Those were dark days when I felt so inadequate to comfort this little child who only knew me as a stranger.   We've come so far since those days.  The anger has all but dissipated.  We see joy.  We see peace.  We see courage.  We see God.  Daily.  We see God.  The verse we clung to before we met Mia  and during these 90 days was Hebrews 10:23.  "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful."  He has been faithful to us and to Mia.  There were and are still days when I 'swerve'.   Some days it is only slightly and I can easily steer myself back to Him.  Other days it is a full fledged off the road kind of swerve that takes a few days to find my way back onto the road. But regardless of how often I take my eyes of him and become consumed by circumstances, he has never taken his eyes off of us.  I know it.  I have seen it. I will not forget it.


Now that Mia knows more English we are learning more and more of her story.  Apparently the day she came to us was quite traumatic.  She talks about seeing the car with the orphanage director pull up at her grandmother's house and hearing her grandmother cry.  She talks about waving to her out the window of the car and her grandmother covering her face because she was crying.  Because I know Mia, I know that she did not leave her grandmother willingly.  I'm sure she had to be physically pulled away.  It is a heart-wrenching scene to imagine.  We had this conversation just yesterday:

Mia:   "Is Nai Nai still sad mama?"  


Me:  "I don't think Nai Nai is sad anymore Mia.  I think she misses you, but I think she is happy that you have a family now that you can stay with forever."


Mia:  "How do you know she isn't still crying?  Did you talk to her?"


Me:  "No Mia, I did not talk to her.  I just know that because Nai Nai loved you, she is happy if you are happy.  Are you happy here Mia?"


Mia:  "I am happy.  I am going to stay here until I am 21 then I will visit Nai Nai and come back to you mama..... long pause....... Do you think she is still crying Mama?"


Mia worries quite a bit about Nai Nai.  So do I.  I can't imagine loving this girl for 7 years and then losing her even if I knew it was the best thing for her.  People ask me why she couldn't be adopted by the foster grandmother.  I don't know the answer to that.  I just know that it wasn't an option.


I do wish I could talk to her foster grandmother.  I would say something like this:




Thank you for taking care of this little girl and loving her as if she was your own.  Please do not worry about her.  She is very happy now.  She had a hard time in the beginning.  She was very angry that we had taken her from you.  She was very angry to be leaving her country.  She was frightened because she could not communicate.  I want you to know that now she is content.  She has learned so much English that I don't even wonder how to explain anything to her anymore.  I just say it like I would to any other child and she understands.  She speaks fluent English now too.  Everyone who meets her can't believe she's only been here three months.  She's made many friends her age.  This weekend she went to a birthday party for a neighbor and I didn't even stay with her to help her communicate.  She had a great time.  She is very proud of her new family.  When they all came to see her at our church's parent-child dedication Sunday, she beamed when she saw them all sitting in the audience.
She worries about you.  She hopes that you are not still crying because you miss her.  She talks often about another child who lived there too and wishes that she could see her swing set because they would have fun swinging together.  I've told her over and over that it is okay for her to love you and us.  I think she is finally at peace with that.  She plans to visit you when she is 21.  We will do our best to help her remember the love that you shared with her.  Thank you for helping her know how to love.  Thank you for loving her so well.
Here's a picture of Mia at the zoo on a class field trip.  She loves her new school and her teacher.  She is so very smart.
Mia is a blessing to our family and we promise to love her - forever.

The Wedding

The wedding of the oldest Barbee grandchild has been a much anticipated event for my kiddos.  Jeremy has been a huge part of their lives and his new bride Stephanie has become equally adored in their hearts.  The wedding plans were already underway when we received Mia's referral.  They were kind enough to include Mia as a bridesmaid even then we knew nothing of how her transition might be at the time.  I think you can tell by the pictures that she had a blast.

Mia dancing with Jeremy

Lainie and her Daddy

Will doing the YMCA dance.  He was the cutest ring bearer I've ever seen!

The wedding took place in a church at Myrtle Beach so that was a extra bonus.  Mia saw the beach for the first time and loved it.  It was also the first time she's been swimming in a pool and she loved that as well. Of course, she has a long way to go before she loves the beach quite as much as Lainie whom asks about going to the beach from the time we leave in July until we finally arrive back the next summer.  I am confident that she'll live at the beach at some point in her life.  That works for me!!

We had a great weekend.  All of the kids were in the wedding so it was just a little stressful - but so much fun.  I have to say they all clean up pretty nice don't they???

Congratulations Jeremy and Stephanie!  Thank you for including all of our children and making them feel like such a special part of your big day. My prayer is that one day each of them will find a husband/wife like each of you.....

My Little Boy Is Missing....

Has anyone seen this little guy?  Pretty cute isn't he?  He seems to have disappeared when I wasn't looking.  Around the same time he went missing, this big guy showed up.  He's pretty cute too isn't he? 

This big guy is nice enough and we like him just fine, but I sure do miss my little guy.  The big guy is fun to hang out with, and he's very well mannered, but I'd love to have the little one back for just one day.  I'd love to hear his little belly laugh, run my fingers through those curls and hear his sweet little voice.  Here's a warning to all of you moms out there with cute little guys:  Don't blink.  Before you know it you may also find that a big guy is living in their place.  You'll be plenty in love with him too, but you sure are gonna miss the little guy.

Happy 14th birthday to my big guy, Trey, who I love more than I could have ever imagined.......

I Saw God Today.....

Lainie, Lilly, Anna Claire and Mia L.

I saw him in the faces of these four little girls.  It is an amazing story really.  These four girls (along with Sarah Mei whose family had previous plans)  spent their very first days and months together in a tiny room in an orphanage in Chenzhou, China.  Before any of them met their forever families, they were together.  They heard each other's first cries and first giggles. What is amazing is that they now each live here in the Carolinas and even more than that, four of them live within 45 minutes of each other. 

I just love the fingerprints of God in this story.  Who else could have orchestrated such a story?  I sometimes take for granted how incredible it is that in all of the world, these girls from so, so far away wound up still being so close together after being adopted.  The story of how each family found out about the other is also incredible.  Too much to explain here.

So today, we spent the day together in the park.  God who watched these girls as they were infants in a Chinese orphanage watched them today as they ran and played on a sunny day in a park in North Carolina.  It is simply incredible when you think about the odds of it.  I love how God has given these girls this connection.  There are so many things  I don't know and won't be able to explain to Lainie about her infancy, but there is one thing I will be able to tell her for sure.  She was not there alone.  Lilly, Sarah Mei, Anna Claire, and Mia were there with her.  And perhaps that will some day bring her peace.  When the girls reach an age when the questions are hard and the answers are even harder, I hope they find solace in knowing they share the same story together.  God is good like that isn't he??

For more of the story, you can visit Anna Claire's big sister's blog:  http://www.andthentherewereseven.blogspot.com/

Happy Easter!

As we celebrate Easter with our family we are more and more aware of the true picture of Grace.  It is because of THIS day that there will one day be THAT day when we see Him face to face. On that day my two little girls with so many questions will finally see the Father who never leaves, never forsakes, always LOVES. 

After lunch we headed to Mamaw's house for the traditional grandchildren egg hunt. 

All of the tiniest grandchildren in the family and a few extra friends...

The "big" kids to the hiding and all the little ones to the hunting.

Mia loved the egg hunt and had no problem understanding the rules. 

Her language has "exploded" in the past two weeks and she is now talking in sentences.  Amazing!