"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my
trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life."
Psalm 143:8
Isn't it really each Christian's desire to know the way that God wants them to go??? That has been our desire as we have sought after God's plan for our lives and the life of our family. That road has taken us on journeys we certainly thought we'd never experience. As you know, God's plan for our family has included adoption. 3 times. We didn't plan that one folks. Not. At. All.
In fact each time God has revealed his plan to us for adoption, we've doubted. We've struggled. We've said things like,
"Not right now God. We've got a lot going on here."
"Can you come back later God."
"When we have more money God."
"If you haven't noticed God, we're pretty full here. Pick on someone else."
"We've done our part Lord. Don't ask more of us please."
"We're tired Lord."
Thankfully, God in his unfailing love, and his persistent desire for us to know him more, has continued to knock on the door of our hearts. And in a myriad of ways, he has revealed to us the way we should go. And each time, we have experienced his unfailing love in ways that you can't even imagine.
You'd think that after he reveals the way we should go, we would rest in His love for us as we watch his plan unfold. Not so friends.
There are moments of tears, anxiety, fear, doubt, and moments when we are simply scared as heck.
And because we are human, there are moments when we grow extremely weary of being so, so, so UNordinary. We want to be normal. We want to NOT attract attention every where we go. We do not want to be THAT family. We want to go places and blend in. Sometimes I want to hide. Sometimes it just gets me down.
And the world. There is no encouragement from the world. Instead MOST people tell us we are crazy. They say things like...
"Are you sure you want to do that? Again?!"
"Are you really being responsible?"
"Why would you do that?"
"What are you trying to prove?"
"What about your other kids?"
"Are you crazy?"
Crazy? Who wants to be labeled as crazy. Not me. Unfortunately, in my weakness, these words of the world begin to seep in and cause me to doubt our decisions. I begin to listen to those whose lives seem so much more comfortable than mine. I begin to listen to those who are living the status quo. I begin to listen to those who are focused on the here and now. I begin to listen to those who are saving for college funds, vacations, retirement...... I begin to think that a comfortable, normal, "don't rock the boat" life seems much more sane.
Then I remember. We aren't called to be comfortable. We aren't called to be the status quo. We aren't called to not rock the boat. He wants us to listen to Him and not to the world. We can't listen to both.
Who will I listen to? Will I listen to the doubters, the naysayers, the worriers? Will I just be happy with the status quo too? Will I answer God's call on my life by saying,
"That's too scary. That's too hard. That requires too much. That's too crazy."
If you've read the stories of the Bible, you know how it ends for those who doubted God, for those who gave into the doubt of those around them. For those who allowed the doubt to seep in and prevent them from going the way God called them to go. They missed the Promised Land. They missed the blessing of obedience.
Will will be like those people, or when he knocks on the door of our hearts will we say,
"For I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life." Psalm 143:8
The verse we've sort of claimed for our lives are the words of Jesus in John 10:10.
"I have come that you may have life and have it to the full." If we believe that, then we believe that God's plans for us are good. His plan is for us to have live to the fullest extent.
Friends, we know this to be true. We have followed when it didn't make sense. We have followed when we were tired. We have followed when we were scared. We have followed when there was no money. We have followed when the world said, "no, no, no." And we have found every time that he does not leave, he does not forsake. He keeps his promises. He gives life to the full.
These words have been spinning in my head for quite some time. But today, they are more true than ever before.
He has knocked on our hearts again. He has told us, "Go this way." And we have entrusted our lives to him as we follow him in another adoption.
Around this time next year we will be bringing home this beautiful child. Now an orphan, soon a beloved daughter.
Go ahead. Call us crazy.
She is named for my precious grandmother, Mary Anna Russell
and Bobby's dear aunt, Mary Barbee Little.